Sleepless in Sevierville

As a little catch-up, Bryan and I are on a break. It was my decision. Slowly though, we've been inching back into our marriage because things have been going well. I've been avoiding sexual intimacy with the exception of one morning when I was feeling weak. Wouldn't you know Bryan had no time for such things. "Quickie" is apparently not a term he is familiar with. Seems ridiculously familiar, but I let it slide with my only retribution being to put it off for longer.

For whatever reason, Bryan has decided he needs to sleep less so he can have more time to research stuff. I don't know why he has gotten this notion in his head, but whatever. He thinks he needs to sleep on a schedule, 6 hours at night with a 20 minute nap during the day. As ridiculous as it seems, I was fine to let him do that.

However, upon going to bed tonight, he puts earphones in to listen to a hypnosis for sleep thing he downloaded. I questioned him about the headphones and he asked if I wanted to listen to. I did not and I said so. I said that I just didn't like being in a different world then he was. Apparently, he took that to mean that I did want to listen so he started playing it out loud.

I did try to listen and play along with what the very poorly done and surprisingly short recording wanted me to do, but it was hard to distract myself from the thought of, "Omg, this is what he wants to do every night. We're never going to have sex again."

I mean, really? What the hell? So from now on we just go to bed and do that? No chatting, no sex, just listening to some guy talk about sleep patterns.

After the very short recording finished, I just lay there, staring into the darkness of the room. We normally have music playing, but since the recording has been on there was o music. It was very quiet. The only things I heard were the central heat and the clothes dryer. Then the heat reached its designated temp so it kicked off. Then the clothes finished drying so the dryer stopped.

I know some people may not believe it, but silence is a sound. When I can hear nothing, there is like a ringing or a roaring that starts. Like my ear is just aching for something to listen to. Between the deafening silence and the realization that if I want sex I will have to schedule it (Fuck that! Will never happen! I will do without before I do it on a schedule!) I was too irate to sleep. I got up, got my essentials (phone, chapstick, drink, pillow, and blanket) and came out into the living room to sleep.

Naturally, Bryan doesn't understand why I'm annoyed. Maybe some day he will read this blog and figure it out. Highly unlikely though since he doesn't want anyone to know that we know each other so he steers clear of my blog at all costs. Goodness forbid if anyone might somehow figure out that he is the very Bryan I write about.

This whole sleep thing is absolutely ridiculous. I guess I might as well start staying up with the baby. There's obviously no reason to spend my nights with my husband.