Things blew up pretty badly over the chick Bryan had been talking to. It was mentioned that I could learn internet marketing and therefore he would not need this woman. So on top of trying to look like a porn star for my husband I now get to learn a whole new career. It's kind of annoying, but I will do anything to keep him.
I started learning, following lessons online, and taking a multitude of notes. After a while of that I decided that if I was going to do this I needed to make damn sure that it was going to remove that woman from my husband's life. So as he was getting ready for work one day I told him how it needed to be. I said, "Whether I learn all this or whether I find someone to do it for you, when that point comes you will end the relationship you have with that girl or you will be effectively ending the relationship you have with me."
It was pretty cut and dry. He could continue for whatever length of time it took for one of those things to occur then he needed to return to caring about our relationship rather than some bitch who loves to play "damsel in distress" for him to rescue. Shouldn't have even taken a moment's thought to agree to. I let him finish up getting ready before I finally asked him if he understood. This was the point that he took he tell me that she has potential jobs for him in the future and that after a couple months she may even put him on retainer (giving him x amount of dollars for month) and that he didn't think it would be wise to walk away from that opportunity.
I was livid.
I was basically told that me learning the marketing to take her place was a waste of time. I learned that he had intended to enter into a long-term relationship with this girl and that was that. I had given him what I thought was a fair deal with the declining of that deal meaning the end of us. Choosing her over me was a pretty clear signal about what he wanted. He was emotionally invested in the relationship he developed with her. I told him that was "fine."
He left for work and I cried for about an hour over my complete failure to keep my husband. Then I bucked up and just started cleaning the house and moving my pillow and blankets into the spare room. I didn't think it was appropriate to share a bed with someone who was emotionally invested in someone else. As much as I am sexual person, I wasn't going to be the blow-up doll for him to release his sexual frustration on simply because he couldn't physically be with her.
I let him know. As usual, he was not okay with the situation. I don't why. This always happens. He doesn't want to invest in our relationship, but when I remove the responsibility from him he gets upset. Like most men, I believe he wants to have his cake and eat it, too. So it upsets him when he realizes that's not how life is. I told him that if he and I continued our relationship he would just end up picking that woman over me. But I am getting my confidence back and becoming emotionally stronger so I told him that I refused to be walked over by some chick.
I figured there were only a few outcomes. 1) He would miss physical contact and leave to go to her, 2)He would grow bored of her and make an attempt to get me back, or 3)I would find someone that made me feel what she made him feel so whatever he decided wouldn't matter. I was hoping for the second one.
We finally laid down some ground-rules. I would have continued access to his e-mail. He would not send more than two e-mails to her per day and they would be strictly business related. He would no longer provide her with free information. She was to define what she wanted, he would do it, end of transaction. Most importantly, he was to put the same effort into being with me that he put into having a relationship with her.
Things have been going well for these past few days. Of course, she hasn't been needing anything done lately so that has helped. Here's hoping we can keep it up.
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